my name is melissa. some people call me 'mel', or even just 'm'. you can call me awkward.
this is me:
okay, that's cheating. that's me with chuck palahniuk, my favourite writer. that was the singlemost amazing-yet-awkward moment of my life so far.
okay, here's me:
i am a writer. always have been. i have been told i have a way with words. i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but i accept it and run with it. sometimes i write serious-face things. sometimes i write... whatever this is... things. it's all good. just go with it.
some more things about me: each of my names has a double letter in it. my full name is melissa anne griffith. i think that's pretty rad. i hold a bgs degree with concentrations in english, sociology, and history. i graduated magna cum laude (just .003 gpa points off from summa), so i guess that makes me fairly intelligent, despite any indication to the contrary contained in this blog. i am married. i am well-read. i like sunflower seeds. i run a japanese-inspired jewelry and home accessories business called 'maoiliosa'. 'maoiliosa' is also something some people call me.
you are probably asking yourself a few things at this point. one thing is probably, "should i make myself a sandwich?" that is an extremely valid question. another might be, "why 'red and ginger'?" well, red is my favourite colour, you see. it also happens to be the colour most associated with emarrassment and shame, both of which are heavily present in this blog. the 'ginger' part does not refer to my dog, ginger:
although, as you can see, there are both red AND ginger seen here. there is also a 'cone of shame'. but no. 'ginger' here refers to my personality. i have a ginger disposition. but i don't have ginger hair. i mean, my hair is red, but it's dyed. and it's burgundy. i know, it's confusing. sorry. here, to distract you from feeling awkward along with me, here is a video of two ginger kids singing nine inch nails' 'head like a hole'. this is probably the most awesome thing i've ever seen.
this is as good of a time as any to tell you i love trent reznor. just sayin'.
anyway, if the next thing you're wondering is, "do i belong here?", i made a handy list for you so you can determine that, yourself:
- if you are uncomfortable with me typing in all lower-case letters and writing in all upper-case letters, this blog is not for you.
- if you are uncomfortable laughing at other people's expense (namely yours truly), this blog is not for you.
- if you are uncomfortable with profanity or sarcasm, this blog is not for you.
- if you are uncomfortable with people who go off on tangents, this blog is not for you.
- if you are uncomfortable with honesty or hilarity, this blog is not for you.
- if you are uncomfortable with me being buddhist, this blog is not for you.
- if you are uncomfortable with odd numbers, this blog is not for you.
awesome!
mostly, i will talk about all the embarrassing/crazy/weird things that have happened to me, particularly in my childhood, from my perspective. about my life, i've been told a number of times, "you need to write a book!", but i'm already writing a book but it's a horror/psychological thriller novel and i just don't have time to concentrate on two books so this blog will have to do for the 'my life' thing. also, i don't have the eloquence of the late frank mccourt when it comes to talking about myself, unfortunately. it will probably be more entertaining this way, anyway.
i will also talk about other things from time to time. these include but are not limited to:
- funny and/or interesting links or videos i feel like sharing
- little bits about me so you have more of a frame-of-reference for the other stuff
- geckos
- occasional rants
- people who are awesome
so welcome to my blog. the hilarity and embarrassment will commence shortly.
